The Empire Strikes Back

Gnome Fest was a great time once again this year. There are many great times planned and some that just seem to happen. I’ve been known for a great many things, and some…. kind of questionable things, but it seems one of my super powers is breaking things. I broke my very first serious mountain bike, then broke the warrantied replacement. I also broke a Bomber Fork, cracked my Salsa El Mariachi in every weld, and snapped a bottom bracket while climbing once. This year at Gnome Fest I did the unthinkable – I broke a Surly.  Luckily I brought a back up bike for some reason. My warrantied El Mariachi, not as fat so obviously not as fun, but at least I was still able to ride.


What seemed like a great idea at the time, was

riding over a stack of firewood that was just the perfect height. Maybe 30 to 40 feet of wood stacked in ramp fashion next to a raging bon fire. Why wouldn’t you try and ride over it? After several attempts, and realizing that I didn’t have the Danny MacAskill type of tricks to clear the pile, I decided to rely on the 2 things that always create a great story, Speed and disregard for Bike or Body. So I decided just to back up and hit ‘er hard. For me, riding over the pile was a lot tougher than jumping over the pile. For my Pugsley, landing the jump was a lot tougher than falling off the side.

While some people claimed that it was an obvious a warranty issue, I knew that nowhere in the purchase agreement would it state that launching a Puglsey off a 4 foot log pile at high speed was covered in the warranty replacement policy. I did get a kudos for damaging a Pugsley in a fashion that no Surly employee has ever seen before. You’ve got to appreciate the little things in life.

Now I’m really in a pickle. Do I wait for the Moonlander to grace the bike scene, or do I wait for the Black Ops to become available. I’ve seen a lot of White Pugs out there, and I guess they never really hit me as my color of bike. But Wait – White Rolling Darryl Rims?  Hmmm…  Now I’m thinking that since the Black Ops is going to be the hot new thing I could do something really different. When everyone will be rolling around in all black big wheelers, I can ride into town like the good guy on the white horse in the old western movies. Hey, it might fool a few people.

It hadn’t even occurred to me what the perfect name for this bike was until I brought it down for the Decorah Time Trial Finally at the Glory Hole on Middle Mother’s Day trail. I was trying to decide between Great White (like the shark) or Snow White (like the princess) when Sov and O’Gara were like “Dude!  Do you know what that totally looks like?”

da da da   Dun Da da   Dun Da da

White frame, white fork, white headset, white stem, white handle bars, white seat post, white seat, white cable housing, white rolling darryl rims.  Black grips, black brakes levers, black seat post clamp, black cranks, black bash guard, black tires, black hubs, black spokes, black rim strips. White rider, Black soul.

Oddly enough I built this thing in Chewy’s shop, as in Chewbaca’s shop. His own son has a tattoo of a Wookie that reads “DAD”.

 And just for fun, I found this while researching storm trooper pics.  You’re welcome.

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4 Responses to The Empire Strikes Back

  1. Doug@MnBicycleCommuter November 17, 2011 at 8:38 pm #

    Apparently you haven’t been to the Surly website lately. There is no longer a Black Ops Pug. It is now the Necromancer Pug.

  2. FJTORT2 November 19, 2011 at 7:35 am #

    The fire wood riding was the best thing at GNOME! Great article.

  3. Puck November 22, 2011 at 5:08 am #

    I notice you didn’t bother wasting money on white spokes either!!

  4. Spinner November 22, 2011 at 8:22 am #

    I looked into it, but at $2.00 + per spoke, I’m happy with black. White hubs were pretty expensive too, so I went with Surly Single Speed hubs.


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