Top Ten List for a Fat-Fourth

10) Go Jump in the Lake – video above – You don’t have to ride your fatty off of a pier like Puck does….just go for a swim (river, pond or ocean can be substituted)

9) Ride your bike to (Dairy Queen, dairy barn, dairy delight, etc.) get some ice cream – (Frozen Custard, Yogurt or Gellato may be substituted)

8) Get Dirty – go out and ride some dirt (sand, gravel or pine needles can be substituted)

7) Blow Shit Up! – and keep all of your fingers – go watch the professionals light up the sky – maybe ride your bike to the top of the highest point around and watch from there.

6) Turn your camelback into a cold pack – Fill the bladder with ice and water, Nestle a can or two of a refreshingly cold beverage next to the bladder. Drink  said beverage at the top of the highest vista or look-out during step #8. (beer can be substituted for the politically correct ‘cold beverage’)

6a) Drink cheap domestic beer from a can.

6b) Drink ‘craft brewed’ beer from a frosty mug.

5) Pass the Tanning Butter – SPF30, Yo! Oh…and don’t skimp on the deet, neither!

4) Consume at least 2 things from this list – Corn on the Cob – Watermelon – Bratwurst – Potato Salad – Ribs – BBQ – Popsicle

3) Let Freedom Ring! – Your passport to Freedom = A sturdy Cooler filled with Beer & Covered with Ice – (water, soda, tequila or juice boxes can be added to the mix or substituted freely)

2) Mingle! Take some time to meet with old friends or visit with your family. This is where that cooler of beer comes in really handy!

1) Go out and Play! – Not just on the fat-bike…..break out your old cruiser and ride it in your town’s 4th of July Parade! Play some Frisbee. Take a turn on the neighbor kid’s Slip’N’Slide. Derby with your amigos! Go completely wild! – Because today we celebrate FREEDOM!


Happy Independence Day, Amigos!

About Gomez 2576 Articles
Just an old cat that rides bikes, herds pixels, ropes gnomes and sometimes writes stories. I love a good story.

1 Comment

  1. Amen! Doing my own thing, but I am thinking I may cover 60% of above said list. ‘Merica

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