If I climbed a sacred mountain in the Himalayas to seek tranquility and enlightenment from a wise guy, about bike stuff…I wouldn’t be surprised to find Chewey at the top…sitting in a lawn chair making with the pragmatic – no BS – wisdom. So when he told us that he had prepared a statement to the fat-bike nation, we immediately made space available for the current Pugsley World Champion to express his bad self. Opinions expressed by ‘the Chewey’ may or may not reflect the views of the International House of Fat-Bikes, Fat-Bike.com, Fat dash Bike dot Com, it’s sister station in Amsterdam or The Bike Black Ribbon Society. Well…it, probably does, reflect the views of the Bike Black Ribbon Society. Those guys are into chaos.
WTF is going on with fat biking?
(or is Chewey just crabby because his hockey team had a bad practice)
First off I love my bikes. I have more fat bikes than my fat ass can sit on, in one day. And all the blogs and online rags, write ups, are kinda fun to see. BUT has the industry gone off it’s fucking nut ? You guys post a pic from a Global Something or Other in Utah. The room looked big enough to stack all the fat bikes in the midwest three bikes high. Maybe out that way it’s normal but don’t we usually hold these types of meeting at a shitty little bar after a nice ride? Then there was the pic of the fat bike trail groomer. Holy shitballs that thing wouldn’t even fit in my driveway let alone on any of the trails we ride around here. Do you have a big fucking deisel power snowcat to pull that thing ? It looked like something left over from a Road Warrior movie. I was hoping to get a guy with two sled dogs to pull a 2 ft. 2×4 box around a few spots that are difted in. Thankfully we have Trevor who has a motorcycle with a big old wide back tire and chains to bust through the drifts for us. Otherwise we’d have to hike a bike until we have it broken in (oh the humanity!). And I don’t even want to get started on the bike part of it. Steel, aluminum, ti, carbon. And hub widths, tires, fenders, every fucking little dodad that you can imagine. Wait….that’s kinda cool actually. Other than the fact that it’s getting so expensive you either have to rob a bank or be sponsored (pro sponsored fat bike racer! Just fucking shoot me now). Shouldn’t we (fat bikers) be consentrating on all the good things that these ingenious pieces of work can do? Look how they saved Austin TX during the Snowpocalypse of 2014 (sorry no pics, Kerry Montgomery didn’t get out on her Pug before it melted). But hey….she was there, at the ready, all fat biked up to make a run for beer or snacks, or just help out a local watering hole by being able to ge there during this disaster. This has got me so riled up I may have to drink. No…I can’t do that… got a hockey game to coach. And if one of those little shits screws up and I chew them out, remember, it’s all this fat bike crap’s fault.
Oh and yes, I will ride my Moonlander to and from the game. Fuck!……hope to see you all at the Pugsley World Championships in Decorah, IA – March 1st