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Sûrly unearths Fester

Our long lost brother…FESTER!

In the movies, Fester was lost during a Typhoon in the Bermuda Triangle, but we dug this fester out of a big corrugated cardboard box. E-Bikes, Aluminum Handlebars and now Titanium? It’s beginning to look like an all too familiar slippery slope of full-grown bicycle geekery. So like…steel is real, but titanium is real light? The Sûrly high council met behind closed doors and named their first Ti model FESTER! If I didn’t know any better, I’d think that there’s a subtle pattern to imperial nomenclature and protocols but that would be ridiculous. Only a fool would believe in such mischief.

I wasn’t the one that discovered this nugget of new fat plus-ness. The trees have eyes and so does our man on the West Side of Mad-Town, Amateur David Gilmore Impersonator, and an avid cyclist, JP Syverud. I made an arrangement to meet JP in a park down by Fitchrona to get some snaps of Fester.

The new Fester looked magnificent, gleaming in the springtime morning glow.

We were unloading the Fester from JP’s 1UpUSA rack when a stranger rode up to us on a road bike. She wanted to make sure that we weren’t there to ride the trails. Of course, we knew that the trails were all closed due to soft spring thaw conditions. I wondered to myself…When did we stop teaching our kids not to talk to strangers? JP and I thanked the young woman for her pestilence and we presented her with ten thousand three hundred and thirty-seven gnome blessings. If you ever want to get rid of someone just start lending them gnome blessings and eventually even the really friendly ones will become uneasy and leave. We were then left free to pursue our photo-geekery. JP propped Fester up with a stump and I herded these secret-squirrel-cam pixels onto the interwebs.

Sûrly’s traditional semi-crappy Kalloy componentry is nowhere to be found on the Fester. In fact, there’s a blend of esoteric name brand components from Thomson (bars) Reeb (seatpost) Brooks (saddle). Then in stark contrast, the wheels feature generic double-wall carbon rims from China laced to Onyx Racing Hubs (stealth mode) and the tires are from the HiViz Yellow Maxxis Camp. Holy Crap! It’s like some greasy schizophrenic hipster spec’d this thing. JP and I talked and we think that the fork is just a Lauf Carbonara with a Sûrly decal. The stem is from Twenty-Two Cycles. The drive train consists of a Race Face Turbine crankset harnessed to a Sram GX Eagle 1×12 set-up with grip shift. The brakes are the capricious Sram Guide RSC hydros. (Shields Up!)

The Fester will be available in Noteverber 2019 with an MSRP of $5,000 usd

9 Responses to Sûrly unearths Fester

  1. Erv Spanks April 1, 2019 at 9:56 am #

    What the WHAT!!!!

    27+? Fat? Is that final spec? SO MANY QUESTIONS and not enough time to ask!

    PS – Colorado Liquor Pickles sound delicious!!!

  2. Frank April 1, 2019 at 4:24 pm #

    Wow – really excited about this! Ticks lots of boxes for my dream bike – nothing on the Surly website yet, but can’t wait!

  3. Fester April 1, 2019 at 6:10 pm #

    April 1st

  4. Canyonman April 1, 2019 at 6:13 pm #

    Ha ha, you nearly got me!! April Fools!!!

  5. Jason April 1, 2019 at 8:40 pm #

    I wish so much this was real….

  6. Allroy April 2, 2019 at 4:59 am #

    Surly is trying a little too hard maybe?

  7. Jeffrey P. Clarke April 2, 2019 at 5:25 am #

    April Fools!

  8. Erv Spanks April 2, 2019 at 10:27 am #

    I was more worried that Colorado Liquor Pickles were fake! Them look tasty!

    • Gomez April 2, 2019 at 11:51 am #

      believe in liquor pickles