Transcript 0:00 [intro music] Welcome to the Danger Dome Podcast. 0:15 It's August, the dog days of summer, so we've got, uh, we've got a show that jumps around a bit, has some, uh, some podcasters' logs a la Captain Kirk since, uh, it's a little tribute out there to Cathat. 0:31 So, uh, yeah, the Danger Dome Podcast is, uh, also bringing you an exposé into the Bike Black Ribbon Society and 0:42 even features maybe a reunion of the Black Ribbon Radio Hour crew for another show. But that happens in the, uh, coup de gras of the show. So stand by for much bicycle foolishness. 1:00 Okay, we're here at the, uh, 24 Hours of Wausau, and I got Dustin Marsh. He's, he's a relatively new member of the Bike Black Ribbon Society, and he's gonna tell you what he knows about the Bike Black Ribbon Society. 1:14 Am I allowed to even say anything? And that's that. Thank you, Dustin. Oh, how's, how's the ride going? You're like 10 hours into a 24-hour ride. Oh, I'm having an absolute blast right now [chuckles]. 1:31 He looks, he, he looks a might peaked, but I think he's gonna pull through. All right. Until later then, goodbye. Go fair. Podcasters date, 7/9/2021. Tio Gomez. 1:48 Maybe if you listened to the last podcast, you heard that I was having a problem with my brakes and with my drivetrain, and I was whining about it 'cause I know the availability of things is super sketchy 'cause [chuckles] 2:03 I'm on the, uh, computer trying to find people brakes and brake pads and whatever they need for their bikes and, uh, it, it's a tough road to hoe. So, uh, but 2:20 lo and behold, we had XT pads, so changed XT pads, those new head wheels went on, and on a, uh, 2:32 super positive note, those head wheels, oh man, it just makes that bike go, go. 2:41 Uh, I, I said wow several times during my 18-mile flattish gravel ride where I'm just, you know, put- putting the watts to the pedals and, uh, making that thing go. 2:53 And, you know, I, I, uh, use a Wahoo ELEMNT ROAM, so I track my rides and, 3:02 you know, it was, uh, it was the third fastest time that I had ridden that route, um, or a big segment of that route, the, the main gravel part of that route. 3:13 And, uh, that means that I, I've, I've ridden that on a mountain bike, a fat bike, and a gravel bike, and with these wheels, fat bike was a mere number of seconds behind gravel bike. So, 3:32 uh, it's pretty, uh, pretty impressive. This really-- This set of wheels has furthered my, uh, my belief that had waned that a light carbon bike eliminates the need for other bikes. 3:49 If you put your budget for buying a plus bike or a mountain bike into a set of wheels for your carbon fat bike, you will eliminate one space in your garage for a bike because that fat bike becomes your mountain bike, and, uh, this is for, you know, rigid bikes. 4:10 So, uh, I, I'm super stoked on this wheel set. It is solid. It's not whippy and, uh, ooh, so light and, uh, just really makes the bike feel like it's a rocket. 4:26 So I'm sure that feeling will wane. I'll get used to a light bike [laughs] and then it'll be even worse when I step onto, uh, the next sub-$2,000 machine. 4:40 You know, a bike with-- an aluminum bike with aluminum wheels is gonna feel, uh, a bit more sluggish, but that would wane as well. 4:46 Do 10 rides on that and your body would just conform, and it would be, uh, you'd be having a ball again, so but probably all a ball no matter what. Anyway, that was my ride. It was a commute, and now I gotta ride back. 5:00 Well, I get to ride back, ha ha, uh, today and, uh, yeah, I'll, uh, I'll report back on my next ride of note. Have a good one. See ya. Test, test. 5:19 Nardate, 7/12/2021. Tio Gomez. Hey, we, uh, met up there at Camrock. We being, uh, JP Subrud, Spinner Ryerson, and myself, 5:35 and, uh, we did a platform pedal bike swap thing so that these two cats could ride the Reba Hooptie that we've been testing. Um, we have 5:50 JP, who is a Reeb super fan, who brought a, uh, 5:55 ridiculous tie reb- rebel- rebbadonkadonk that he rides as well as Spinner who had bought his Squeeb, Reeb Squeeb full suspension mountain bike from JP. 6:08 Um, so three SqueebsTwo One Up USA racks, and we met at Kamrock. And, uh, we just immediately started swapping bikes and riding the single track there. 6:23 And it's interesting, I, I got to ride, uh, a Reeb fat bike, very typical sixty-nine, seventy-three feel to it, um, with big riser bars with the, uh, Big Gulp holder in the middle. Um, 6:40 so kinda upright and, uh, single speed, fair- geared fairly easy, uh, pretty similar to what I would run on, on a single speed. 6:49 The, the Hoopty has two-to-one on it with twenty-niners, uh, wheels, so that's Tim's choice, and he must be a hammer 'cause that's a hard gear. Um, totally doable here, but he lives in Colorado, dude. So 7:05 anyways, and the third bike, a full suspension, uh, Reeb Squeeb. So, uh, with, uh... I thought it would be much slacker 'cause, uh, because I don't know why, because I guess the Hoopty is, is pretty slack. 7:20 But anyway, so we, uh, we did that, and it was too much fun for words. And, uh, today, oh, today, ha, I get to go to the truck trails and ride. I don't know if I'll be able to talk about it. 7:36 We'll see if there's a further report. Tio Gomez, Danger Nome podcast. Podcaster's log, nard date seven thirteen, twenty twenty-one. Rode the truck trails with three dudes from Bond Drager today. 7:55 Rode the old, uh, Ten beers with those new head wheels, and, uh, it was a super spectacular day, just beautiful day. And man, track trails, phew, so much fun. 8:11 Just kept thinking to myself [laughs], "Wow, pretty lucky. Pretty lucky to ride this. Pretty sweet. Pretty awesome." So, uh, yeah, it was good. And, uh, 8:25 then I went for a ride later with Bethany, and tonight we're, uh, having a meeting about the Levis Mountain Fat Tire Festival. 8:36 Went to truck to ride the trails, but I also went there to pick up a bunch of prizes that they generously donated for the Levis Mountain Fat Tire Festival. 8:45 We're, uh, working on some cool stuff for that to go down to fundraiser for the trails there. A lot of, uh, 8:55 a lot of organizations like the trail group at Levis, you know, rely on events to get them funds to pay for gas for the groomer and et cetera. So that's what we're doing. 9:08 We're raising some money for some cool trails and throwing a hell of a bike festival. Um, so if you're, uh, into bike fun, you should look that up on the site. And, um, who knows what we have next? 9:24 Probably some crazy stuff. Uh-oh, what am I committing to now? Well- Do I need to, like, sign a waiver? We're back, and we're still at the Wausau twenty-four. This is still Tio Gomez, but I have Angry Andy here now. 9:37 He's all, he's all sweaty and stuff from riding. But the question I have for you, my lord, is, are, are you a Bike Black Ribbon Society member? Uh, as far as I've been told, yes. 9:50 But since the incident, uh, it's up t- it's up in the air still. So, uh, there's a lot of curiosity about the Bike Black Ribbon Society out there on the interwebs. Uh, can you share a fun fact about our, uh, society? 10:07 It's based upon gnome culture. And gnome culture, does that grove in like, grow in like agar or manure? [laughs] Manure mainly. That's why it fits in with our policies so well. All right. That's Angry Andy. 10:24 He doesn't sound that angry, but he's been riding his bike for, oh, ten hours. I just made these boys burgers, and, uh, mosquitoes are biting me right now, so I gotta go. 10:37 There'll be more from the Wausau twenty-four or not. Podcaster's date, seven nineteen, twenty twenty-one. 10:49 I did a packraft ride that I've been wanting to do for quite a while but didn't feel safe going on a river by myself solo. It's, like, not recommended. 11:00 You're supposed to have a buddy that could, uh, help get you out of a jam. So, uh, went with, uh, Alex from Boat & Tracker, and, uh, we have [laughs] the same boat. We rode from Jefferson up to 11:19 Millston and then put in, so about a ten-mile ride, about a three-mile paddle, and then about a eight-mile ride back, something like that. Um, so yeah, that was a cool deal. Did the, uh... 11:36 So rode with the boat, put the bike on the boat, put the boat in the water, took the boat out of the water, put the bike back under the boat. [laughs] You know what I'm saying. So, and then, uh, took out at Aztlan 11:49 State Park and then rode the glacial drommel- dromeline back to Jefferson. So, uh, that's the exciting podcaster's log for this station break. Hey, we'll be right back with something else altogether. 12:07 Ah, gnomes. Where would we be without them? I remember the first time I encountered my first gnome. 12:15 He was scurrying down a tree trunkWith his little magic wand in his hand and took that magic wand and shoved it right into my spokes of my bicycle. I went head over heels, landed nearby. He came up, 12:33 jumped on my face, and teabagged me. So that's something I will never forget. This is JP. I like to ride single speed fat bikes and the occasional gravel bike as well, or a mountain bike. I just don't prefer gears. 12:51 I have a love-hate relationship with them. They always seem to break at the worst possible times. Anyway, I digress. I think the first time I got involved with Bike Black Ribbon was probably 13:09 Gnome Fest about five years ago at Levis Mounds, one of the premier spots to ride a bicycle in Wisconsin, in my opinion. Perfect location. Don't really know how it all came about. 13:26 I know my Tio Gomez said something like, "Hey, do you want to review something for me for the site?" And I said, "Sure. Why not?" And that's about how I started. Well, until next time, 13:40 happy trails, everybody, and talk to you later. Ciao. Hola, amigos. This is another rider. Uh, well, so much for my daily or single ride reports. I have a report 13:58 from a week there. I did almost a hundred and fifty miles and also watched Andy Angry Andy become Fat Bike twenty-four-hour champion at the Wausau twenty-four. Uh, the day after that race, I got to ride at 14:15 the Ringle Trails up at the, uh, Marathon County dump up there. Really nice. Ten miles of machine-built flow trail with tons of B-lines and just super amount of fun. 14:33 So, uh, during that week where I rode a lot, there's just not a lot of, uh, excitement. I ride some gravel. I ride some single track. I commute back and forth to the bicycle doctor. 14:46 It's, uh, it's, it's just, you know, awesome riding fun, but nothing that, you know, crazy that I should talk to you about it. You know what I'm saying? So on Sunday, I went to, uh, 15:04 the Phil Van Valkenburg 15:07 Glacial Drumlin Trail dedication, and during the week, I got to talk to Georgia and Phil, uh, when they stopped by the shop 'cause the shop supported this fundraiser, uh, for a spur of rail trail that's gonna come off the Glacial Drumlin Trail and, uh, go to the town of Cambridge, where Kamrock, uh, mountain bike trails are. 15:30 So all the way down to Rockdale, where the end terminus or the southern terminus of the, uh, Kamrock Trail system resides. 15:42 And that's kind of given me some inspiration to pull out one of Phil's old guidebooks, um, and look at a ride right from the, uh, the barn here, as well as other rides around the state. 15:58 So I'm gonna be doing some of these, uh, Phil-inspired rides that come right out of his guidebook. 16:04 I'm gonna do one next week in Spring Green, which has, uh, the Flank- Frank Lloyd Wright, uh, design school and the-- his museum and the Driftless area. There's also some mountain bike trails down at Governor Dodge. 16:19 I might camp at Governor Dodge or I don't know what. But, uh, Phil continuing to inspire fun on bikes, and my hat's off to Phil. It was pretty cool to, uh, see a who's who of, uh, Wisconsin bicycling, uh, 16:37 you know, famous people that run races, have built trail, have made mountain biking what it is, and cycling just in general in, uh, what it is. And, uh, I'm, uh, proud to say Phil Van Valkenburg, one of my heroes. 16:53 It's pretty cool to see him, uh, get some recognition. So, uh, that is my, uh, captain's log there of bike rides and, uh, we're-- Oh, I-- The other thing I should mention is Full Monty Mondays. 17:10 I did my first Full Monty, which is a twenty-six point six, uh, mile ride of single track at the Kettle Moraine State Forest Southern Unit. It starts at the John Muir Trails and then goes out on the connector 17:26 all the way around the outside loop, the green loop at Amick Arlen, and then back on the connector the other direction, and then finishing up a little gnome loop climb. Some of the best, uh, single track 17:43 at the Muir is at the end there. Um, and roll back into the lot and, uh, that is-- I did it in three hours and thirty some minutes, um, this time. 17:56 Four hou- [laughs] over four hours, uh, actual time, but three hours and thirty some minutes of pedaling time. That was on the, uh, framed Montana full suspension fat bike. 18:07 So we'll see next Monday how Ten beers fares on that, uh, on that same route. 18:14 See, uh, if my, uh, actual pedaling time changes and if my, uh,Virtual, the, the total time changes [laughs] when I, uh, you know, stop and eat food, et cetera. Uh, 18:29 so, uh, that'll be interesting to see and maybe in a future, uh, log here. But right now we have, uh, the, the kind of the feature part of the show, which is the Bike Black Ribbon Society. 18:47 I don't even know what it is. Well, I sort of do. I was there when it was formed. 18:51 But we're gonna talk to some characters out of our Bike Black Ribbon, uh, gang and, uh, see what they think the Bike Black Ribbon Society means to them. All right. That's coming up right now. [laughs] Yeah, so- So... 19:08 I just pushed the record button. So yeah, it's the three amigos de las- Yeah... Cintas Negras. So yeah. Bike Black Ribbon Radio Hour alums. Chris Daisy. I missed you guys. And Evan Larson. 19:27 [laughs] Hello, hello. We're here to have a laid back discussion about the Bike Black Ribbon Society. 19:37 So just right off the bat, just right off the cuff, we haven't rehearsed this, is I'll take one at a time since, well, it's Chris and Evan. Chris gets to go first. 19:48 What do you, what do you think about the Bike Black Ribbon Society? What do you know about it? What do you think about it? What do you think it is? Um, 19:57 basically a group of fun-loving derelicts that like, like to ride bicycles, was my first initial, uh, interpretation. And then we turned it into, um, the most fabulous radio podcast to ever hit the airwaves. 20:14 And, uh, the rest is history. [laughs] And now I'm famous, living in a mansion, and I have my own helicopter. [laughs] Nice. Same question to you, Mr. Evan Larson. 20:27 Well, I feel like I got the raw end of the deal because you had me committing crimes. [laughs] And I, I had to steal things to gain passage into this organization. 20:38 I thought it was some sort of criminal enterprise, and I don't get along with most folks. [laughs] But for some reason, I just really meshed well, uh, with you guys. And I'm just like, "You know what? I could do this. 20:52 I could join some sort of, uh, uh, club." Call it a club. And, uh [laughs] Oh, we're a gang. We're not a club, man. I mean, if I have anything to say about it. 21:04 I don't know if you could, I, I, I don't know if you could say bike gang. I, you know, and I don't wanna get put on a list, you know? [laughs] There's people listening. 21:12 [laughs] But, uh, so, so that's, that's, that's kinda how I, I just remember being introduced to it as. 21:18 And, uh, it has kind of morphed into this, uh, like, really great group of people that I just always know whenever we get together, it's gonna be a good time. It's fun. 21:33 There's riding, there's stories, there's creations of stories. It's just, it's just a... I don't know. It's, I always, it's just a smile. I, I, I have a smile on my face. I love it. It's, it's just a fantastic group. 21:47 Nice. Gang. So I started thinking about this 'cause a mutual friend of a friend, Mike Frazier, has asked, you know, about like, "What's up with Bike Black Ribbon? What are your goals? 22:00 What are your, what are your foundations? What are your, what are your scruples?" Uh, [laughs] I was like, "Whoa, I, I don't have any answers for those sorta." 22:12 But I started thinking about it, which is, you know, dangerous when, you know, in my idle time when I'm peddling the bike or while I'm driving my car, think, "Uh, what are my scruples?" [laughs] [beeping] Uh-oh. 22:30 Chaos. Chaos. I think we might have lost Chris. Chris, did we lose you? It's okay. Did we lose you, lad? Yeah, you know, it's 2021, so it's not like they had enough time to figure out this whole cell phone thing. 22:42 [laughs] Yeah. Like, I've only had one for, like, 25 fucking years, and it still doesn't make decent phone calls. It can do everything else. I mean, I can, like, look up stock quotes. 22:52 [laughs] I c- I can learn how to do my own brain surgery if I wanna go on YouTube, but make a damn phone call, uh, no, sorry. Sorry. We, we, we just don't, we don't have that nailed down yet. 23:02 [laughs] If we're gonna rant against something, I wanna rant against Facebook, 'cause that face- Oh, please. [laughs] Facebook is just fucking advertising now. 23:12 I don't ever see anything [laughs] about my friends on there. It's just shit they wanna sell me. Oh, or, or it's like you... Oh, you just bought a pair of toenail clippers? 23:23 Let me show you seven more ads for toenail clippers. [laughs] Like [laughs] no, dude, I already bought toenail clippers, Mark. You're behind the times, fucking suck. What the hell, bro? Like, I already bought this. 23:36 Don't send me advertisements for shit I already bought. [laughs] Maybe, maybe that's not the greatest use of your advertising dollars. You think? I know. [laughs] But their job is to convince 23:50 companies that make toenail clippers that you might buy a pair and that they've got the inside thing, 'cause they know what you're thinking, they know what you want. I mean, y- you know, I'm all about, uh, advertising. 24:02 I get it. I'm gonna have another business here soon, so, but, you know- Crazy Laser- Jesus Christ... ladies and gentlemen. Crazy Laser. Lasers are cool. For anything that you're [beeping]... 24:11 All your, yeah, all your super laser needs. Oh, crap. Hang on. Oh, I put Chris on hold, and now I have Evan. What is going on, dude?Um, hello? Oh, hey. We're all back together again. 24:29 Oh. [laughs] We were. Oh. All right. [laughs] Maybe we should, maybe we should stop ranting about the big media companies 'cause they are fucking with my, with my chi. [laughs] Maybe we should do this by telegram. 24:43 I told you not to call it a gang. I said, "Don't call it a gang." Don't call it a gang. You called it a gang, and they just killed the call. 24:50 [laughs] So, like, actual gang members are listening from, like, the c- you know, areas of, like, you know, the city where you don't wanna step into- Yeah, like, uh-... 24:59 and, like, they're like, "Oh, we h- we heard this call." The gangs- "You bike nerds" We just got pinged. "You're no gang." [laughs] Gangs with the, uh- We, we all got-... three letters, man. Like the NSA or the FBI. 25:12 Yeah. We all got, we all got pinged, and they're like, "These fuckers are just sitting in their houses and it corrupts." [laughs] Dude- Threat assessment, none. None. 25:24 [laughs] Evan shared some, uh, a, some videos of a cat that wears his robe and does looping keyboard jams, and- Oh, you're talking about Mark Ribale. [laughs] Yeah, I, I, I saw him. [laughs] Dude, he's the bomb. 25:41 I saw, I saw him. I saw him in Rochester, uh, what, two weeks ago? Oh, did you? A week ago. Oh, you lucky fucker. Yeah. 25:46 I wanted to see him in Milwaukee, and he was sold out, and then, uh, he was-- I think he played Lollapalooza, but I wasn't gonna go to, uh, COVIDpalooza, so [laughs] I, no. No. 25:55 No, the best bet is just pull over to the side of the road, and, and you can listen from the lawn. Yeah. You don't actually, you don't actually go into Lolla. You just- No, I know. That, that is the secret trick... 26:07 over the fence. No, I've, I've done that before when I used to live in Chicago, but I'm not hip anymore, so... But yeah, no, he-- oh, dude, that guy's great. Fucking loved it. Dig it. It was, it was, it was awesome. 26:17 All right. I got off the cuff. So check him out- Gomez... on the, on the YouTube, 'cause I was like-- I [laughs] it took me about 10 seconds to be a super fan. Just like, "Yeah." [laughs] Oh, dude. No, I, you know what? 26:28 My, my, I, I just recently, uh, had my wife check him out, and, like, she was at first like, "What's this guy? This sucks." And then I'm like, 10 minutes later she's like, "Oh my God, I love him." [laughs] Yeah. 26:42 I think that you two should, should form a jam band. Yeah. Yeah. A what? [laughs] Jam band? Jam band. Oh, so we w- That's where, that's where- Are we gonna play some hacky sack and, like, do some Dead covers? 26:54 Is what you, is that what you mean? [laughs] Dude, I was just talking about hacky sack with the boys at the shop today. 27:02 [laughs] Just to br- bring us something weird, and they were all- They probably don't even know what that is, right? They're under, like, 23 or something. Yeah, but they, they, a couple of them knew what it was, so... 27:13 Hacky sack has made a comeback? [laughs] Beats the fuck out of me, but I pulled that one out of my- The sack is back. [laughs] The sack is back, people. Raw. Bike, Bike Black Ribbon. Raw. The sack is back. 27:27 So- I'm getting a veggie burrito to celebrate. [laughs] So, uh, just circling back to, to the, uh, BBR thing. Um- Mm-hmm... 27:39 if you're a, if you're a bike rider out there and you, uh, you see or, or you're Bike Black Ribbon curious, what's your advice to, uh, to those folks? Don't. [laughs] Well, 27:58 you, you, first you have to start stealing things. [laughs] And then you have to bring them to Uncle Gomez's home- And then I-... to-... give them to Chris, and Chris lives in a mansion now. How about that? Yeah. 28:10 With a helicopter. Don't forget about the helicopter. With a, oh, and the helicopter. 'Cause Chris is the real cult leader. It's not a club, it's a cult. [laughs] That's right. 28:21 Send your dollars to me, and then I will make sure that you get into the spaceship successfully. Is it- Yeah. Hey- Did, did you guys-... 28:27 you make more, you make more money as a leader, but you have way more fun as a follower. [laughs] Did you see these guys-- uh, did you see the picture of the bandanas that the- Yeah, those are dope. 28:40 I mean, I'm a big fan of, like, the skull look and all that good stuff that we had going on. I have a pile of them here. I was thinking of, like, like washing them. 28:49 You know, like, trying to get them to be all worn in, but I think I'm just gonna put them in envelopes and send them out. I mean, in a, in a very, like- Each of you-- [laughs] go ahead. 29:00 [laughs] I, I, I, I was gonna say, in a, in a very, like, bougie way, we're kind of the Hells Angels of fat bikes. [laughs] Yeah. You know what? 29:08 Like- I-- when, when this gang was formed by three people, Cale Wenther, Callie Reid, and myself, I wanted to-- I was like, "Well, let's have an outlaw bicycle gang 29:25 formed in the same manner, a chapter system of, you know, just like all the big, regular outlaw motorcycle gangs, like the Hells Angels and, you know, the Nomads- Yeah... and, uh, Pee-wee Herman and et cetera. 29:41 We, we didn't do an, nearly enough illegal drug and gun running, though. [laughs] That's the problem. You might not have. [laughs] Jesus Christ. 29:50 But I've been the- You're just, you're just living in the mansion that, that those, that those alleged crimes made possible. Oh. Guess I took all the good parts. All right. What's going on? That's what happens. 30:02 You're like, you're like the guy that lives across the lake from, from Bodhi, but, but Patrick Swayze in Road House. Yeah, that's, that's like you. 30:16 You've got to love-- [laughs] I bet you have one of those- I prefer, I pr- I, I prefer the Point Break, uh, Patrick Swayze. All right. Can I be that guy? Can I, can I be the Bodhisattva? 30:25 You can-- oh, you can be the Bodhisattva, Robin Banks and stuff. [laughs] But you have the whole gang around-- just pretend Robin Banks, so...Maybe, maybe just go into your bank and write in a check. 30:36 [laughs] Feel what the wave is doing, and harness its energy, and take off. [laughs] It was shit like that. [laughs] Who packed my chute? [laughs] Yeah. Bodhi. [laughs] I had a, I had a dog named Bodhi. 30:53 God rest his soul. Yeah. Bodhisattva- Oh... after that character. So there. Nice. Way to tie that in a knot. And, uh- Let's talk about how Point Break changed our lives in the 1990s. 31:05 [laughs] It's all coming back together. Made me want to... Oh, dude, you, you became a surfer. I did become a surfer. You're right. Well, no, I, I... Well, let's put an asterisk there. 31:18 I'm a wannabe, like, I mostly fall off my board and try not to drown kind of guy, so calling myself a surfer is a bit of a stretch. [laughs] It's like, "Oh, you ride a bike, you're a professional bike racer." Like, no. 31:33 [laughs] I'm, like, really pathetic at it. [laughs] But I'm having fun, so that's important. Being a pathetic bike racer never stopped nobody from going- [laughs]... and bike racing their bike race. I'm telling you. 31:47 I'm pretty sure I, I finished last every time at your races, Chris. Oh, oh, no, no. Well, yeah, I mean, no, I think you did better than last. 31:56 [laughs] But, I mean, you're, you were also riding a damn, like, single speed steel, like, Surly, you know,Krampus. My c- my, uh, the, the coaster brake. 32:05 The coaster- Yeah, you should get, like, 10 points added onto your score just for doing that. Like, they should, you know? Dude, that bike is still broken from that race, all those roots and... [laughs] Really? 32:15 That was a long time ago. [laughs] I'm looking at it right now. I know. Well, yeah, uh, yeah. Yeah. Time fly- time flies. I get it. I know, right? You were describing- But I got a few other-... 32:24 your rides to me earlier, and, uh, it was, it was pretty good. It was, like, one baby on the front, one baby on the tag along, and one baby in the trailer. 32:37 Yeah, well, yeah, my son, he just finally, uh, he, he learned to pedal. He got off the balance bike, and now he's- Oh... pedaling on his own. Nice. Nice. So he's leading. Yeah, he's leading. 32:47 And then I have, uh, it's called a Mac Ride seat that, like, it, it kind of brackets into your, uh, your head tube area- Right... into the saddle. Yeah, yeah. 32:58 And the kids, you know, she sits in front of me, and then I got the baby in the, the trailer, in the Burley. Burley. Yeah. 33:06 Gomez asked me about my riding recently, and I asked him if, uh, moving my bike from one part of the garage to another counted. [laughs] As, as a ride. Yeah. 33:16 [laughs] Chris is, Chris is heavily- That's as far as I've gone on a bike in the past few weeks. [laughs] Chris is heavily into, like, rebelling against everything bike because it ruled so many years of his life. 33:28 Like, his three- [laughs] Like, sell- Kind of... 33:31 selling, selling the bike shop has been what a cathartic moment for him, and, like, all of his bicycle energy somehow came to me, so I've been riding for both Carissa and I. [laughs] This is true. It's crazy. Yeah. Yeah. 33:46 The last time, what was it, I was on single track, I, I took my brother-in-law out and, uh, one of his cousins and just, you know, it was a good first-timers ride. 33:57 We went up The Kettle, and the, literally the last loop we did, uh, he broke his leg. Yeah. Oh. Like, like tib/fib both, you know, just- Oh... just, just fucked his shit up bad. Oh, no. 34:12 They had to get, like, the rescue crew out, and it was just- Oh. [laughs]... 34:16 it was, it was an, it was an absolute catastrophe, and I'm like, I'm like, "I don't know if I'm ever gonna invite anyone to go riding again," 'cause, [laughs] 'cause, yeah, like, oh, man. Damn. 34:26 'Cause it has a new meaning. Basically, "Hey, wanna go out and, um, break your fucking leg?" [laughs] Oh, yeah. No, the la- the last time I, like, I, I took my wife to Kettle, like, she cried. [laughs] Oh. [laughs] Yeah. 34:41 Crashed, cried, the whole works, and so I, I feel you, man. It's like, yeah. Oh, man. You know, "Hey, you wanna go out for a hardcore mountain bike experience?" Most people are like, "No." 34:51 [laughs] Dude, I'm, I'm, I'm starting to do, like, every Monday in August I wanna do a Full Monty, which is, like, it's a long ride. It's a- Oh, Jesus. Yeah, it is. 35:02 It's- I have never completed one of those in my life, so congratulations. It's three kicks to the nuts. [laughs] I mean, now I gotta ask, how many sandwiches do you pack for the ride? I- 'Cause I would need to know. 35:15 Yeah, the last- I'd probably have to double, I'd double it... the last, the last one I did, I actually did it in, I think, only about three bottles of water and two bars. That's it. What? 35:28 Geez, dude, you're like an animal these days. I'm, like, so jealous. Yeah. Well, that's... Well, you know what sucks, though, is after you get done with the Full Monty, no more turkey sandwiches. Oh, that's true. 35:39 Rest in peace, Range County Bicycle Store. Like, oh. Something is going on there with the Bicycle Cafe. I saw a sign. Yeah? Ooh. 35:46 'Cause they closed the fucking road that takes me right to Kettle from my house, but I had to get on the, you know, like, the main highway now again. Route 12 up here in rural Wisconsin. 35:59 There's no damn cows on that road. But anyway. You, you... 36:02 [laughs] Yeah, no, man, I hope the, uh, uh, the, the whole, like, fajita pita and the, uh, bomb-ass turkey sandwich make a comeback 'cause that was, like, half the reason I would ever go to Kettle. 36:15 [laughs] Well, you know that trout spread came from Rushing Waters, which is just outside of Palmyra. I just like the word trout spread. 36:21 And today's show isn't sponsored by Rushing Waters, but it should be 'cause that trout spread- Ooh... mm, fragrant. [laughs] Trout spread. 36:35 [laughs] Oh, I, I, I forgot how much like all, all of our shows were just us laughing [laughs] at our other shows. [laughs] Oh, hello. 36:50 Yeah, I remember somebody like in the comments said like, "I don't do enough drugs to listen to this show." [laughs] What? How- I consider that a compliment because those were like, those were all fantastic comments. 37:02 Yeah. I know. Those were great. Like w- I would just say, what a pity. [laughs] Get with the program. [laughs] Oh, man, we had some great beer segments too, man. Remember some of them great beers? Oh, man. Oh. 37:18 Yeah, all at the- Yeah... all, all at the cult mansion too. Yeah. Yeah. Sitting in your empty hot tub- Beats the crap out of your head... before you filled it with champagne. With a samurai sword [laughs] there. 37:35 Well, I hope that- Oh... clears everything up to everybody about the Bike Black Ribbon Society. [beeping] Oh, my God. [beeping] Yeah. It's, uh- Yeah. Can you hear me now? [laughs] I think we got- I got knocked off. 37:52 I, I, I forgot to boot Steve Jobs for turning what used to be the telephone into a stupid goddamn thing that does everything else but make phone calls. [laughs] Mine has a can- Nice job, bro. Mine has- I'm back... 38:03 mine has a can opener. Yeah, sweet. That would make mine more useful. [laughs] All right, chill out. It's like, do you want to watch movies on your phone? No, I have a television. 38:16 Do you want to go on the computer on your phone? No, I have a computer. Do you want to make phone calls on your phone? Yes. Too bad. 38:22 [laughs] You can make them, but you are going to have to call back many, many, many times, but don't worry. Oh, my God. We've made the redial button the only button on the phone. 38:32 [laughs] Listen, I have one friend that I call pretty much on a semi-daily basis, and he lives about exactly two miles from me, and I can't tell you how many dropped calls we have. [laughs] I can't even talk to this guy, 38:50 right? [laughs] It's comical. Like, oh, my God, we're two miles away, bro. Like, I could send you a smoke signal and you would get it. But like, fuck, and I can't, you know, talk on the phone? What the hell? It's 2021. 39:02 God. This might be the, the great- Damn... the great gnome in the sky trying to get you two together so you can- Oh, geez... so you can dock your penises together. 39:13 [laughs] No, I mean, he's opening a skateboard park right next to my business. Oh. So I mean, we're- Oh... we're good friends. All right. 39:20 And so you would think we could talk on a normal phone together, like, a-and discuss business, you know, dealings, but nope. Nope. No. No. No, you can shop on your phone. 39:30 You, you can buy like coconut and whatever the fuck. You need to get, uh, you need to get a string. Get the two cans and a fucking string, man. Yeah. Get the- That would work better. That would totally work better. 39:39 So do you, do you want to put a plug in for Crazy, Crazy Laser there in, uh... Is it in the harbor or is it in Z- Zion? 39:46 It is in Winter Harbor, Illinois, so the very, very, very, very northeastern tip of Illinois is where we're located, next to the, um... or we're in the same town as North Point Marina. 39:58 So if you've got a big fancy boat, you can pull up. But, uh, otherwise, yeah, man, we're gonna have a really cool, fun laser, uh, take on laser tag. Uh, laser tag with a sense of humor. 40:11 And I've got a glow-in-the-dark dodgeball court so the kids can throw- Oh... you know, rubber balls at each other's heads. Nice. I've got some free video games. 40:19 Uh, I've got some toys and some candy and snacks and you name it. It's gonna be a good time. Bring the kids, dude. Get a pinball machine? Dude, I want a pinball machine. You know what? 40:30 Pinball machines are freaking expensive. I looked into that [laughs] thing, and, uh, as much as I want them, they're... like, it's a whole other ball of wax. 40:38 So maybe once I start making some money, I'd, I'd love to do a pinball, you know, extravaganza, so that's not outside the realm of possibilities. 40:46 But, uh, the, the Led Zeppelin pinball machine that I really, really want is like $8,000. [laughs] Oh, yeah, no. Well, you don't, don't try... Don't buy that shit right from them. 40:57 Do you know, do you know how many quarters you would have to put into that damn thing to make $8,000? [laughs] Oh, my God. [laughs] Let's do the math. That's not... 41:04 That's, that's a worse business to get into than the bicycle industry. [laughs] But that doesn't necessarily mean that there, that it isn't in the budget for 2025. Come on down to Crazy Laser. 41:17 [laughs] Shoot your friends with fake guns and- Right... nothing. Opening soon. Probably opening in September if all goes well, I hope, 'cause I owe rent, uh, September 1st. 41:29 [laughs] Just in, just in time for the kids to go back to school. Crazy Laser. Yeah. It's better than homework. [laughs] It, oh, it's absolutely better than homework. Bring your homework. Chris will do it for you. Just 41:44 play the game. Sure. [laughs] I can't guarantee what kind of grade you're gonna get, but I'll do it for you. Hey, in music or music and art class, he could be a huge help. 41:54 I'm gonna take advantage of that fifth-grade education all the way. Yeah. [laughs] So anything new with you, Evan? Have you, have you, have you m-m-made more babies? 42:06 Jesus, it was like for a couple years there I talked to you, and every time it'd be like, "Yep, another kid on the way." [laughs] Like, dang, dude. No, no. No? No more children. Uh- Just-... but I, I did finally... 42:23 Last time I talked to you, I think we did, uh, it was like mid-pandemic video thing. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Since I did that- Yeah, we're, we're back now... one or two girls. So- All right. See, I, I, I just... 42:35 My, my wife and I decided not to get outnumberedSo we, we capped it at two. [laughs] Yeah. But two boys- I think that third child would be X Factor, you know what I'm saying? Like, [laughs] 42:47 Well, it's like, and you don't wanna have too many because you, you're bound to have one or two fuck-ups. [laughs] So the more kids you have, the more fuck-ups you're gonna have, and it's college or bail, you know? 43:00 I thought you were going to go with, [laughs] one of them's gonna be, be possessed by a demon. [laughs] Pretty much is what he's saying. Yeah. But like, I... 43:09 Yeah, no, I, I'm, I'm glad I started late because I love children, and I would have, like, 12 if I would've started at, like, 23. [laughs] So it's a good thing that mine started at 38. Yeah. 43:22 Well, that's, that's, that's why you're our cult leader, because you made- Yeah... 'cause you, you planned ahead. Yeah. Yeah. 43:31 No, if I was a true cult leader, I'd have more children at, like, age 60, but, you know, we'll see what happens. [laughs] It, it's still time. There's still time. [laughs] Still time. It's fun. It's fun. 43:45 I, I like watching them learn how to ride and, like, uh, balance bikes, that's the way. I don't think kids should have, uh, what are they? Training wheels. But balance bikes, oh, man. That was it. Yeah. Yeah. 43:56 If you want your- For you guys... if you want your kid to be able to do a back flip, balance bike is the way to go. Wait, wait, wait. Uh, so you're telling me that the bicycle industry did it wrong for, like, 50 years? 44:07 Yeah. Shocker. Adolph is spinning. [laughs] Shock. [laughs] Huge color shock. But don't worry, we're making up for it now- All right... with e-bikes so that everybody can be on a bike z- zipping around. 44:24 Is that still a thing? I've been out of the business now for a year and a half, so- Oh, wait... do people still care about e-bikes or is that gone? 44:32 And, and e-sc- 'Cause, I mean, as you can tell, I have zero fucks to give. [laughs] And e-scooters. [laughs] So, dude- E-scooters. Oh, yeah. That's sweet... 44:40 does, does Crazy Laser- Don't even, don't even pretend like you're exercising. Hell with it. [laughs] Does Crazy Laser have a Facebook page yet or an Instagram or a website? Nope. I don't have shit, dude. 44:52 I'm working 24/7 busting ass just trying to get nothing built, [laughs] but it will soon. All right. And if you c- [laughs] If you come and when you wear your Bike Black Ribbon colors, they'll charge you $5 more. 45:05 Special deal. [laughs] Just kidding. We should have... Yeah. We'll have a back-- a Bike Black Ribbon night. We'll get some people together and- I was wearing-- I was-... cherry bombs and whatever. Yeah. 45:19 I was wearing, uh, I was wearing my colors up at the Revelate show. I brought, I brought my fucking battle vest for that shit. Nice. Nice. 45:28 There was a moment too at that, uh, at that venue where, uh, I definitely was asking myself, "Am I too old to be here?" Oh. [laughs] A trick, a trick, a tricky time in, in every man's life. 45:41 [laughs] Well, when the, when the dude- I am so far past that. [laughs] Oh, maybe you guys can help me. Some dude comes randomly walking up to me asking me if I can get some LTAB. 45:52 And I'm like, "What the fuck is that, man? Is that acid? Is that weed? Like, what are you talking about? I don't know what an LTAB is. I have no idea." An LTAB. Hmm. LTAB. I don't know. LTAB. I don't know, man. 46:05 What is that? I have no idea. Is it, is it like a, a way to- Did you-... take a ride home- Did you Google it?... or is it some new drug? [laughs] Hey, NSA guy that- No, I haven't. 46:15 I- NSA guy that's listening, can you tell us what kind of drug that is? [laughs] Yeah, let me know, because I don't like going on the Urban Dictionary. We're not that smart. 46:24 'Cause you never know what the fuck you're about to find. You're like, "Oh, I have to read that. God." Were you like, "Yo, but I can score you some Quaaludes, Sonny." [laughs] Yeah. Oh, man. Yeah, that was great. 46:38 By way of International Son Quaalude Day. [laughs] 714, you know, it's what was on the big Quaalude pill. Oh, really? Yeah. [laughs] I didn't even know that. Yeah. Quaalude Day. Wait. 714. 46:52 [laughs] Let's go back, 'cause you're probably the only, the, the only guy that's old enough to have actually done Quaaludes. [laughs] I love it. I love it. I, I never, I never did Quaaludes. 47:01 I just learned, I just learned something new today. [laughs] So the-- I had friends that did Quaaludes, and every time they had- Ah... 47:10 this one friend that, like, would get a new car, like a big ass fucking 1976 Merc- Mercury Marquis, and he would take a Quaalude, have a couple of beers, and he'd fucking wrap that thing. He, he, 47:26 he had a knack for, like, getting the car up onto a stump, [laughs] and so it was just stuck in somebody's yard. So he'd fuck up that $300 car and lose his license for a while. 47:39 Then he'd be back at it as soon as they let him. So... Man. That was, that was his shtick. That was his thing. That was his thing. [laughs] Quaal- Quaaludes, alcohol, and wrapping a car around something. 47:51 [laughs] Quaalude, cheap- Dude, the '70s were wild, man... cheap lager. You got no idea, like. [laughs] Oh, no. There was no rules. Surprisingly, we even survived. Yeah. The '70s were fricking nuts, dude. Yeah. 48:09 Elvis died, the Sex Pistols toured the US, and, uh, I graduated high school in the same [laughs] 1970s year. [laughs] So yeah. It was a good time to be alive. Did you go to the show? 48:26 Uh, to the Sex Pistols show? No. 'Cause if you tell me that you saw the Sex Pistols, I'll eat those veggies. No, no, no. I think it was only New York City and Los Angeles. Ah. All right. 48:34 So, but correct me if I'm wrong, listener. [laughs] Our one listener. How's it going, Tony? I see you're wearing a Sex Pistols shirt. How many songs do you know, poser?God save the Queen. 48:51 Anyway, we, uh-- So that's, that's all we have to say about the Bike Bike Ribbon Society. It's about, uh, I, I would say bike fun. That, that would be a hedonistic approach to bicycles. 49:06 I think it's more like it can't be said. It's more of, uh, like experience once you're enveloped in, uh, uh, a gathering. Yeah. You can understand it a little better. I think you can- It can't be explained. 49:21 It can only be, uh, hinted at in riddles and in through interpretive dance. [laughs] And mushrooms. Mushrooms definitely help. Yeah. Um- Oh, yeah, they do. It's so underground, bro, you don't even know about it. 49:35 That's why it's cool. [laughs] It's so underground- We end with-... that, you know, we're super popular at retirement homes across America. 49:45 [laughs] No, we did have at least like probably a handful of like really dedicated listeners who like super enjoyed it, and everybody else thought we were fucking nuts. Yeah, the podcast. So, hey. For sure. 49:57 And I think our podcast still has, has a loyal following and, and, you know, hey out there, guys. Thanks for listening and stuff to this crap. Yeah. I appreciate it. Yeah. And I miss it. I, I had lots of fun. 50:11 That was good times. Well, you know what I say? We, I say we put the erection in resurrection. [laughs] Hear, hear. Huzzah. [laughs] I concur one thousand percent. All right. We'll do that. All right, dudes. 50:26 Well, good talking with you. I'm gonna close this show with, uh, with, uh, this. Check us out on Instagram @fatbike.com. Tell them. We can tell them. 50:39 Just- [outro rock music]
