Transcript 0:00 [upbeat music] The Danger Gnome Podcast presents a special behind-the-scenes El Rodeo Fanduro podcast, coming to you on Fat Bike Radio Network. 0:24 Let me introduce a founding member of the Croatian Bike Gyps- [laughs] Oh, I was doing so good. Bike Gypsy Cult Movement. Croatian Bike Gypsy Cult Movement, the one and only Chris Daisy. Hello. 0:39 We're here in the psychedelic Cloud Factory Studios on the shores of Lake Michigamme, and we've come together to form a congregation. We are here in the presence of gnomes, in the spirit of gnomes. 0:54 We are here to testify, and we are here to figure out what the dealio is for El Rodeo Fanduro, dad. [laughs] Do you know how to say podcast in Croatian? [singing] I think it's good guest. Yeah. 1:10 [laughs] So, uh, when do we Fanduro? July 28th, 2019, high noon. Uh, where do we Fanduro? Silver Lake County Park at the top of the sled hill in a big old pavilion. 1:27 That's, uh, Western Kenosha County- Yes... for you folks out there that, you know, there's probably 10 Silver Lakes within a 100-mile radius of- [laughs]... this Silver Lake. This is the one in Wisconsin. Right. 1:40 Right by- Southeastern... the little town of Silver Lake, but the county park is actually in the unincorporated township of Salem, where they burn witches. Ah. [laughs] Sell fireworks. 1:52 They just, they just named their town after the town they burn witches. [laughs] "Hey, those guys got a pretty cool deal going. We like to burn stuff." Oh, my goodness. 2:01 So, uh, if I wanted to be fashionable and sit at the cool kids' lunch table, what kind of bike should I ride? You should ride your favorite bike. This is a open bike sort of event. 2:15 I mean, there's a lot of mountain bike single track trails, which are groovy, so if you wanna do it on a f- mountain bike, that's fine. Fat bikes, of course, welcome. 2:23 Uh, even if you wanna rip around on a road bike, there's all kinds of cool roads to ride around in that park, so. True that. Yeah. Cross bike would work. There's- Bring, like, four bikes. 2:31 You should just bring all your bikes. How about that? Yeah. And, uh, bring the bike that you can rope a goat with. Yes. Goat roping is gonna be part of the event. 2:40 [laughs] So Chris had a great idea about scheduling the fun. Tell us a little bit about that, maestro. We sh- call you maestro because you're responsible for almost all the music- Ah... at Fat Bike Radio. 2:54 Yeah, that intro was a little bass-heavy. I should remix that. But anyway, that's another subject. Uh- [laughs] But hey- He's evolved into a, into more tenor rich. Yeah. So- Jingly jangly... 3:06 let's maybe talk a little bit about just Fanduros in general and what our concept is for these. I mean, it's kind of the non-race race. 3:12 It's just an excuse to get together with your bikes with like-minded people and have a good time. 3:18 And so I didn't wanna make it too heavily scheduled, but, uh, we figured maybe something at the top of every hour would keep people, uh, sort of knowing when to come back off of the trails and- And we start at noon, so we'll gather. 3:30 Mm-hmm. And then at 1:00 we'll have the first event, and then two, three, four, 5:00. Exactly. Right? Yep. And at 5:00 it's probably something like tea and crumpets or something. Yeah, maybe. Something. 3:40 I think about, uh, 4:00 we're gonna have some, uh, live music, and since it's the El Fanduro Rodeo, I've got my buddy Scott Mears singing his country classics. So get up on some Merle Haggard and such. Merle Haggard. 3:53 [laughs] You know it. Nice. We're gonna be roping goats and listening to Merle. [laughs] I think we're gonna need some, like, uh, Old Crow whiskey or something. 4:01 Well, I figured whiskey would be a part of it in general, so- [dog barks] There's-... that's probably covered... there's Sprocket the wonder dog. Yep. So we're here, uh, you know, you said the, the Cloud Factory Studios. 4:11 The Cloud Factory shut down, dude. It did. It's no more, uh, mercury going up into the air, so it's a good time. 4:16 And the, uh, the Tour de France is on the, the big screen here, the big projection TV here in the music room. Yeah, with the, uh- Uh... ever-exciting, uh, solo time trials. Solo time trial. 4:27 [laughs] If you, if you haven't tuned into the Tour, it's worth tuning in just to see Phil Liggett's face when he and Bobke interview [laughs] Lance Armstrong. [laughs] Look of pure disgust on his face. 4:42 [laughs] And there's, there's a big satellite delay, so it makes it even, uh, more awkward. Oh, yes. It's, it's pretty awesome TV. It's pretty good. I like it. And Bobke and Lance are just like, "Yeah, dude, this, this, 4:56 yeah." And- Remember all that stuff we shot into our butt? [laughs] Phil Liggett's like... [laughs] He, he's just got the complete sourpuss look on his face. You can just tell. He's like, "I just wanna call him a doper." 5:10 [laughs] He's a traditionalist. But with a, but with a British accent, it sounds much nicer. [laughs] That's right, you Anglophiles. So I think that i- w- since we're featuring the goat roping in El, El- Fanduro. 5:26 [laughs] El Rodeo Fanduro. [laughs] Uh, I think we should talk about goat roping. Yeah. 5:31 So this is kinda something that, um, I don't know where the idea came from really, but s- we are, uh, hosting a rodeo, so we gotta have some sort of bike rodeo event, ri- and, uh, we got a couple different ideas. 5:42 Actually, there's a big soccer field, too, so I might bring some croquet mallets and a ball, and we'll do some, uh, bike polo. Uh- So the thing we did- [laughs] There's, there's... It's at the top of a sled hill. Yep. 5:52 So at a portion of the gently sloping grass downhill, we will place a mechanical goat. Yeah. That's, you know, controlled by- [laughs]... yours truly. Cool. And that goat-... 6:08 will seem like it doesn't move, but you're gonna be moving down the hill. Right. I wouldn't recommend really pedaling. Just roll down the hill, get close- Get your lasso... throw your lasso. 6:20 We'll give you a quick lesson. It's all in the wrist. Mm-hmm. I'll show you how it's done. 6:24 [laughs] And the big thing to remember is you gotta let go of the rope once you throw it, 'cause if you don't let go of the rope or stop immediately, which would be harder to do because most people are right-handed, most people's- [laughs] Oh, no. 6:39 ... left hand is on their front brake. [laughs] So you gotta drop that rope, grab the rear brake with your rear hand, or ride to the bottom. Just goes to the bottom like in Total Victory. 6:48 [laughs] Whatever your Tour de France finishing line routine would be. You know, hands over the head, crossed. [laughs] You know, zip up the jersey, put your cross in the jersey. Genuflect, genuflect. 6:58 Whatever you gotta do, you know? [laughs] We'll judge that, too. Okay. But, so if you don't drop the rope, and you yank the mechanical goat, that's when things get ornery. 7:08 [laughs] And the goat drags you around, or you drag the goat around. It's generally a bad thing, and your score does not count. 7:15 We'll have, like, a panel of judges with the whole judge card and everything, and we actually have a trophy for this, man. It's like a big- Nice... freaking metal trophy. Nice. 7:24 So, uh, I- And it's BYOB, so it should get really interesting if we do this later in the day. Well, I, I thought this would be the first event- Oh, okay... at 1:00- We could do that... 7:33 where people still have their, still have- [laughs]... the cognitive ability to let go of the freaking rope. [laughs] Right. [laughs] 'Cause I'm telling you, I, I just see bad things happening with that goat flying. 7:47 [laughs] There's a lot of sharp edges on the goat. Parties are always more fun when there's a little element of danger involved. 7:52 That's right, and you, it, you pe- you folks from Illinois, you do not wanna go to a Wisconsin hospital, okay? [laughs] 'Cause they treat livestock and people. Ah. Yeah. 8:04 Our show will never be sponsored by Aurora Healthcare. [laughs] Well, and of course derby. We're gonna derby 'cause we gotta derby at a fat bike, well, bike event, right? Yeah. So- So we'll have a derby. 8:15 That'll be at 3:00. It- No, 2:00. Mm-hmm. 'Cause our first one's 1:00. 2:00 derby, like, the heat of the day. Yeah. We'll probably have, like, a practice round, a ladies round, a ladies, uh, ladies professional round. 8:32 [laughs] We'll have multiple rounds. Yes. And there will be, you know, a prize or something for the winner. Um- What do you think?... 8:39 75th Street Inn is bringing, I believe, some sort of roasted meat that's gonna be bunable. That'll be- Is that, is that what we're gonna give as, give as a prize? [laughs] Yeah. 8:49 No, that'll be free for the taking, but we'll come up with some prizes. All right, 'cause I don't think I'm gonna win anything, and I want some meat. I want, I want some potted meat. 8:57 I got a couple 27-packs of PBR to throw in a cooler, and, uh, you know, you're welcome to bring your favorite libation. I'm bringing, uh, some lime ginger Diet Coke. That sounds delectable. 9:11 [laughs] And maybe some Fresca. [laughs] Would you like a Fresca, daddy? [laughs] So you, you completely left all the events. Well- Don't you like my other events? We... Oh, yeah. Well, there are... Yeah. 9:24 The kids ride, ladies ride. So- 'Cause I think p- people are gonna bring kids. Your kids are coming, right? Uh, yeah, I think so. All right. Well, and they ride two-wheelers now. Oh, they do. It's a glorious day now. 9:33 And there's a, there's a kids trail there. That's true. And there's even, like, a one little step above that where you could ride part of the Snowflake and some of the double track. It's kid-friendly, these trails. 9:43 M- Marco's getting a, uh, 20-inch Timberjack for his birthday, so that's gonna work out pretty well. [clicks tongue] Dude. Yeah. Little Timberjack. Hope he doesn't listen to the podcast or you'll just ruin the surprise. 9:54 [laughs] Oh, yeah, don't let your kids listen to our podcast. [laughs] Yeah, yeah. That's- [laughs] That wasn't for you. [laughs] That was for the people just generally out there in- Mm-hmm... in listening land. So, uh, 10:07 I have an event that I saw. I was... The wife and I went up to, uh, Chequamegon there for the 4th of July to be good Americans. Yeah, hater. And we saw some dudes at the beach. 10:18 We went to the beach 'cause every summer it's my goal to go and swim in a real lake. Mm-hmm. I know that freaks most people out to swim where there are fish that could bite them in their wiener. Mm-hmm. But I like that. 10:30 [laughs] So... [laughs] Just to-totally a night. So- You saw that one special where that fish went into the guy's wiener? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Oh, God. [laughs] Yeah. 10:40 That's why when you're in the, when you're in the Amazon, you can't pee while you're in the water. [laughs] Which is almost impossible if you're from, you know, if you're from Des Plaines. [laughs] So 10:52 I saw these dudes playing this game, and it involves Frisbee. Okay. And it, they had two PVC poles stuck in the ground about maybe 10 yards from one, one another. Gotcha. And it's two-person teams, just like Jarts. 11:07 Mm-hmm. But instead of a Jart, you have a Frisbee. Mm-hmm. And one person throws it. The other team has to either catch the Frisbee by, with one hand, and they all, they all have a beer in the other hand. Right. 11:19 Um, and on top of the PVC pole is a beer bottle. Okay. And the object is to hit the pole or the beer bottle and knock it to the grass. Okay. And that apparently is a point. 11:31 I don't know exactly how this is scored or, or- [laughs]... what the name of the game is, but I think that- I like it... this, this is a good game. Yeah. No, I- I like Frisbee... okay. 11:40 We can set that up, uh, right off the pavilion there and just play- Yeah... that all day. Yeah. I like it. And then two-person teams, and again, I have another trophy for the winner of that tournament. Yes. 11:53 So, you know, bike games, Frisbee games- Trophies... drinking games. Trophies. I like it. And trust me, I will bring my referee shirt. [laughs] And I will score this, and it'll be... I'll bring a whistle. 12:05 It'll be kickass. Dude. You'll wanna shove that whistle up my butt very soon after you get there. [laughs] I'm totally into that, too. No, just kidding. [laughs]You're a lot of fun at a lake. 12:16 [laughs] I am giving you a lot of ammunition for later. So we'll, we'll have a kids' ride, and maybe if we have enough ladies, we'll have a ladies' ride. 12:26 Or even if we just have one lady, we'll just be like, "Go do a ladies' ride." [laughs] And... 12:30 Yeah, I mean, uh, I figured the riding part can be very casual, and we can do some groups, and people can just go out on their own. 12:36 And as long as you know that every hour you got something going on, you can head on back off the trail and partake or just keep riding. Do whatever you want. It's all about freedom. Fun- Freedom! Yes. Yeah. 12:48 And you mentioned Scott Mears- Mm-hmm... and the Country Classics at 4:00. Yep. It's gonna be pretty cool. Yeah. And, uh, then, uh, you, you did... 12:57 We started to talk about the, uh- "Don't be foolin' about Texas with Waylon and Willie" Oh. Oh, sorry. [laughs] Uh, we, we started to talk about the potluck feast. Yeah, so we got a big grill there. We'll have charcoal. 13:10 Like I said, there is some food that will be, uh, there in general, but you're welcome to bring whatever you like and, uh, fry it up. Yeah, I would say bring something to throw on the grill. Mm-hmm. 13:21 And maybe a dish to share. It's a picnic. That could be just a bag of potato chips, man. Sure. You know, but if, if you really love your Uncle Gomez, you know, bring something keto. 13:32 [laughs] 'Cause carbs are the true enemy of the people. Or something with a high THC content. [laughs] There's no carbs in THC. No. [laughs] All I'm saying. So, uh, yeah, we'll have some big coolers. 13:47 Throw your beers in there. You go for a ride, you come back, got a nice cold beverage. Mm-hmm. 13:52 Uh- You might wanna bring some water also, or Gatorade, too, because if you just drink all day and ride, bad things could happen. [laughs] Yeah. So- You know... keep, stay hydrated. 14:01 Follow, follow, you know, the sound example of your Uncle Gomez. Yeah. Life in moderation. Right. These days. [laughs] Once age set in. [laughs] That's right, once the diabetes kicked in. 14:16 [laughs] So, uh, this is where you get to do a recap from memory of the who, what, when, and where of the El Rodeo Funduro. Ha, I've, I already got the w- who. Right. 14:29 Okay, so it's happening on Sunday, July 28th, high noon, at Silver Lake Park up there in Wisconsin, just off of Highway 50 and 83-ish. 14:41 And, uh, it pretty much just runs all day until we get kicked out by the forest ranger or such. Nice. Yeah, and, uh, there might be a, a road detour there on County F- Oh, yeah... as in Frank off of Route 50. 14:55 But, uh, you know, follow the signs. Yeah, they, uh- Follow your Google Maps, and it will betray you, and you will arrive ready for a beer, [laughs] 15:07 And ready to throw your phone into the lead box, which where we'll put everyone's phone. There is a beautiful lake. Hopefully, it's open for swimming. There was, uh, too much duck poop in it, I think, last weekend. 15:17 Oh, duck itch. And they closed it up, uh, for swimming. But it's normally a fantastic swimming lake. Yeah. It's, uh, it's... And again, kid-friendly. It's, it's shallow for- Yeah... a long way out there. Yep. 15:29 And it's a nice sandy bottom. And, uh, you know, some of the sexiest fish you'll ever meet. It's probably freakishly warm. It's kind of unsettling, but, [laughs] Mm. 15:39 If you like your lakes to resemble a hot bath, come on out. Yeah. People pay good money for those hot tub clubs. Yeah. By the hour. Weirdness. [laughs] So I wouldn't be doing my job- Mm-hmm... 15:54 if I didn't ask about Bike Prom, AKA Project Funduro-ween. Yeah. We're still in development there. 16:01 As much as I'd like to send out all the, uh, cool info, we're trying to work with the hotel down there at the beach and get things going. But, uh- I know probably the entire staff at the hotel listen to the show. 16:13 Oh, of course. So we should probably say- [laughs]... "Hey, guys. How's it going? We'd like to, uh, send a bunch of, uh, mountain bikers- Yep... 16:21 to your facility to find out how fabulous it is, and then, you know, create, uh, an eco-tourism business there right in Zion." Absolutely. I mean, who'd have thunk it? There was a, there was a 16:32 reactor there, a, uh, um, an atomic energy plant- Mm-hmm... there just a couple of decades ago, and they've dismantled it, and now it's basically the Costa Rica of the Great Lakes. 16:46 Yeah, we still got all the nuclear waste, but that's another story. They're moving it. Oh, yeah? Yeah, the spent, uh, spent fuel rods. I mean, come on, that doesn't sound that bad. As long as you don't swallow it. 16:56 [laughs] So, uh, do you wanna mention the Beulah Boogie? Yeah. We got a mountain bike race, the Beulah Boogie. Uh, it's in Zion. And, uh, that's September 22nd, also a Sunday. I think our first race starts at 10:00 AM. 17:10 We've got a long course, a short course, and a new rider, novice, um, categories. Mm-hmm. And, um, you can ride it on mountain bike or fat bike. 17:21 Uh, I don't think we have trophies this year for the fat bikes, unfortunately. But, uh, first, second, and third place of each race, we got some pretty good- You should just give them a pork chop. Yeah. 17:31 Pork chop and a PBR. There you go, son. Nice work. Yeah. Or PBR is actually, isn't it... Uh, I think it's JK Living that I'm quoting here, "A pork chop in a can." [laughs] So you get two pork chops. 17:43 Pork chop with a canned pork chop. Yeah. Mm. I'd like to, you know, give a shout-out for ex uncle's new single, "Pinche No Mas Gorritas" Ooh. Which basically means [laughs] fuck little gno- [laughs]... little fat gnomes. 17:59 [laughs] Wow. I need a... Okay, so I need to write that song. That's a pretty good title. [laughs] Yeah. 'Cause a, a male gnome would be a gnomo- Ugh... in, in Español. No mas. So no mas is... [dog barks] Sprocket. 18:14 Sprocket. Chill out, man. Dude, man.Well, don't you see we're deep, deep, deep in conference here, man? We're almost on the last page. And then just, uh, I guess a shout-out for meat, 'cause it's- Yeah. Meaty. Yeah. Mm. 18:28 So do we wanna even, like, breach the subject of changing the s- the title of, of Fundo-ween? Um, well, I think it depends on how this whole thing shakes out. I mean, Halloween, the older I get, the less I care about it. 18:47 [both laughing] It was fun as a kid, and then fun, like, in your 20s when all the girls would dress up sexy and stuff, and you'd go out and party, but now it's just, like, kind of an annoyance. So I don't know. 18:58 Do I wanna dress up in a costume [Sprocket barking] afterwards? Sprocket says yes. I gue- Okay, Sprocket, if you wanna do it, we'll do it. [laughs] Oh, there's another taco in the driveway, dude. Yeah. 19:09 Oh, that's the guy that's gonna mow the lawn. [Sprocket barking] It's, it's all good. [laughs] All right. And now, a word from Sprocket. 19:17 [Sprocket barking] [laughs] That's www.sprocket.com. [laughs] So I like the new name that you picked for it. 19:35 Let's just throw that out there. Okay. The first annual Grand Fonduro Fat Bike Beach Ride and Ball. Oh, I know. 19:41 I hate to even be hyping this right now because I've gotta make it all happen, and, uh, we're gonna make it happen. That's go- It's gonna be our summertime objective here, Gomez. We're gonna make this damn party happen. 19:50 I don't know how... I don't know how much more persuasive I can be other than, like, throwing you money, like, making it rain money for you. [laughs] Right. 19:59 But we- we're gonna make this happen, 'cause there's sunrise rides, beach yoga- Oh... hot beach yoga, hot beach with sand yoga. [laughs] We can do so much. 20:09 [laughs] [sighs] So anyway, uh, do you wanna say anything about the new Salsas coming in on the, on July 24th? Um, there's a really cool pink one, I know that. Dude. Yeah. 20:23 One of the models is, like, straight-up hot pink, which is pretty sexy. But, uh, yeah, man, another round of fat bike season is coming our way, sooner than we'd probably like it. 20:32 [laughs] So bring the kids down to Zion Cyclery- Yeah... and take a ride on a new Bar Grease. Yeah. July 24th. Yeah. Yee-haw. [laughs] That's... You're gonna hear a lot of that if you come to the Rodeo Fonduro. 20:46 It's, uh... Yeah. Yeah. You better have a s- like, a, some grass in the corner of your, you know, like, like... And not that kind of grass, but, you know, like a piece of wheat- Well, I've already got-... 20:58 sticking out the corner of your mouth the whole da- the whole day... I ordered my, uh, Club Ride brand western riding shirt, so I've got performance fabrics in a plaid pattern s- on it. Kickass. 21:11 [laughs] I have a whole new wardrobe of clothes that I used to fit in- [both laughing]... and fit in again. Yeah, I was gonna say, you are looking slim. Damn, dude. Well, yeah. That's, that's- Nice. 21:22 Lots of riding, I take it. L- riding and camping? Yeah, and, uh- Eating squirrels only. [laughs] Now that you mention it, I, uh, I have, uh, waged war on the chipmunks in my yard- Oh... 21:36 'cause they're, like, dismantling my freaking retaining wall, like, literally. [laughs] It's The Great Escape. [laughs] I swear to God, it's like Steve McQueen is down there, but he's a chipmunk, burrowing. 21:47 Man, they're vicious in Wisconsin, man. I got 'em all over, up in my garage, and they're, yeah, they're, they're little secret bastards. Yeah. Yeah. All right. [laughs] On that note- So, uh, I have one more question. 22:01 Yep. You wanna say anything about Jay Petervary getting fired by Salsa and 45 North? I didn't know about any of that until I saw that in the show script. What's, uh, what's that about? [laughs] I'm not sure. They all... 22:14 It apparently had to do with some, uh, dispute over the new rules at the, uh, Tour Divide this year. Mm. And by the time I got clued in on it, uh, all the 22:27 a- allegedly offending te- uh, posts had been deleted. Ah. All the replies were there saying, "Don't be a jerk." [laughs] But, you know. So this was off of a, a bad, uh, social media post, uh- Apparently, yeah... 22:45 ban type of deal, huh? Yeah, on the Radavist maybe. Mm. I'm, you know... This is all, uh, what do they call it? Hearsay. It's all hearsay, Your Honor. Gotcha. Uh, I had no idea. 22:57 I, you know, I'm just a guy with a website that reads stuff like everybody else, and- Mm... one of our test pilots was like... He's from Wales, so- Yeah... he, he said it with a Welsh accent, maybe via text. 23:12 I can't do a Welsh accent. "What up?" [laughs] "What up, Gomez? What happened?" I'm like, "Oh, so I missed the links, man. I, I went to, I went to Platteville for the day." Mm. Don't get me started on that. 23:25 That was- [laughs]... a bad day. Mm. So that's, uh, that's our show, right? You got anything else to, to share? Uh, no, man, just, um, you know, stop raining so the trails can dry. That'd be my [laughs] only thing. 23:41 All right. It's too, too muddy. Everything's muddy. I'm sick of washing my bike. That's it. All right. Nothing profound. [laughs] Okay. Ride your bike. 23:51 So, uh, that's, that's it from, uh, from the pirate satellite here at, uh, Fat Bike Radio. Boop. This is, uh- Boop... this is Danger Gnome- Boop... Podcast- Boop... signing off with- Boop... Q- Boop... Q- Boop... 24:07 Q- Boop... Q. Beep. [upbeat music] This is where you're supposed to talk, talk shit. Oh, is this the crosstalk segment? 24:24 Yeah. I missed it. Sorry. [upbeat music] I never liked Jay Petervary. No. [both laughing] Just kidding. I actually like him. He's kinda intense. Yeah, he's... 24:36 I could see him maybe throwing up something that's a little bit growly and maybe gets you in trouble. I don't know. [laughs] And plus, when, when you have that intensity yourself, you just, you know, you have empathy. 24:46 Yeah. For sure. I lose, I lose my temper sometimes just at, you know, chipmunks. [laughs] Well, that's justified. [laughs] Stupid bastards. 25:02 [upbeat music]
