Transcript 0:02 The Black Ribbon Radio Hour, SingleSpeed USA. Special report. [crow cawing] [upbeat music] The yeti is angry. Run for your lives. It's the Black Ribbon Bicycle Hour. 0:20 After the show you'll wanna take a cold shower. We talk bikes, be true to power. My name is Chris Daisy, just like the flower. Let me introduce you to Evan Larson. Funny as hell, just like Johnny Carson. 0:32 Rowan Laudain, big ass brain. Speed, endurance, threshold for pain. And last but not least is our fearless host. The man from the Midwest, not the coast. He calls himself Gomez, but here's the joke. 0:43 He doesn't mind being the designated smoke. Nah, it's not how fast you go, it's making sure you get there. 0:58 Black Ribbon Bicycle Hour starts now. Consider this your only warning. 1:07 We're drilling a hole straight into your brain and pumping it full of the dark truth where it can flow down your spinal cord and into your pelvic region until your personal and very private areas reach maximum elasticity. 1:20 [coughs] Awesome. This is our SingleSpeed USA special report. Spinner and I recorded this in his dining room on the south side of Madison, Wisconsin. 1:30 Together, we interview DJ Burch about SingleSpeed USA, among other things like getting bear sprayed in a robbery at the bike shop. Hello. Hi. So this is Spinner. 1:43 I am talking with the only other two-time SingleSpeed USA champion, DJ Burch. How are you doing, DJ? [dog barks] Hello, hello, everybody. Hey, barking hello. Yeah. [laughs] My doggies are going- It's Uncle Gomez. 1:59 Thanks for the introduction, Spinner. [laughs] Tio Gomez, we like to say. DJ probably speaks Spanish a little bit, being from Tucson. Yeah, a little bit. I can, I can order lunch. [laughs] Uh, el tacos and el salsa. 2:17 [laughs] If you get fancy, el guacamole. [laughs] So we just got a few baseline questions to, uh, set the Voight-Kampff machine, find out if you're a replicant or not. 2:29 [laughs] All right, let's, let's see what you guys think of. All right. When is SingleSpeed USA? Uh, that is going to be held the weekend of August 3rd through the 5th. 2:46 And we need to be there at 2:00, I am told. Uh, ideally showing up or being ready to ride your bicycle 2:00 PM on Friday would be optimal for all that want to take advantage of everything SingleSpeed USA. Gotcha. 3:04 And the location of SingleSpeed USA? This year it's held in the beautiful little town that I grew up in called Port Jervis, New York. Nice. I'm a little surprised, like they know who you are, right? 3:20 And- I'm very curious to see if I will ever be allowed back. [laughs] And you've been allowed... Yeah, you-- were you invited back in the first place, or they're like, damn it? 3:30 Well, I feel, you know, this goes back to, you know, my teenage years. I feel like I was kind of chased out of town once already. I think I've heard some of those stories. Due to- Yeah... 3:41 due, due to my skateboarding criminal activity, I decided to leave town to find more concreted pastures and, uh, came back to- And Tucson opened you with welcome arms? 3:52 [laughs] Uh, yeah, I sn- I snuck my way in and then, uh, yeah, I kind of just camouflaged in as a desert dog for sure. Mm-hmm. 4:01 And then, uh, you know, a couple decades went by and I came back to my hometown with some crazy ideas of building some mountain bike trails. 4:13 And, uh, after a little bit of fighting, I made a lot of naysayers take a chance on my silly idea. And five years later, here we are hosting SingleSpeed USA on said trails. 4:30 And there's, uh, I think the last post I saw, there's about 50 miles of trail in Port Jervis now? Yeah, about 50 mi- 50 miles of hand-built single track on, uh, city-owned property. Nice. 4:46 The, the, the property i- is in conjunction with the watersheds to the city, so there's three beautiful reservoirs connected by some streams that, uh, give us about 2,200 acres of playground. All right. 5:03 So what part of New York is Port Jervis in? Um, it's just north of the city. It's actually right where New York, New Jersey, and Pennsylvania meet- Uh-huh... on the confluence of the never sinking Delaware River. Wow. 5:20 So the, the town ha- the town has a lot of history and heritage and, um, definitely was a keystone building block for, uh, just building the country way back in the day. Like, you know, earl- late 1800s, early 1900s. 5:37 Hmm. That makes me a little nervous. Is this a good place for SingleSpeed USA? [laughs] We're not gonna wreck any like bells or fancy statues or anything, are we? 5:48 Um, there's, there's a couple of fancy dancy things there, but you know, one of the cool things we'll probably get to experience is a super duper old, uh, grave site, graveyard, 6:02 war site, and things of that nature where many, many people have died before us, soUh, they won't mind killing a few others if we step out of line. [laughs] Hey, we have a question from one of our listeners. 6:17 Uh, he writes in. He's a Angry Singlespeed-er. [laughs] He doesn't listen to this show. Oh, okay. [laughs] I might be, I might be making this up. Uh... [laughs] He's, he's obviously too good for this show. 6:35 [laughs] Obviously. Obviously. Obviously. I would say, uh, at Singlespeed Alaska. 6:41 [coughs] When, uh, there was that argument, and he was standing a little bit down that gigantic hill from you, [laughs] I kept on playing through my mind that Spartacus. [laughs] It's the Sparta... I'm like, "TJ, do it." 6:56 "Do it." It was, uh, in front of that big gong. I thought that was gonna happen that day, but it did not. Yeah, I, uh, I... Just in case anything like that happens at SSUSA, I've been taking kung fu lessons. Oh. Yes? 7:10 Did you bring your nunchucks? [laughs] Handlebar nunchucks. I haven't, I haven't seen his name on the registration list, but he's more than welcome to come and play. Absolutely. Mm-hmm. 7:25 So what do you think's going on in the old, uh, in the bike arena these days? 7:31 Do you, uh, do you watch the Tour de France, or are you, uh, are, have you heard about the new series of, like, crazy races in Milwaukee that they're racing in parking garages? 7:45 No, I have not heard of such thing, in the parking garages. In the crazy- I've, uh, I, I've been spending a lot of my time getting bear sprayed in bike shops and held up at gunpoint. Oh, yes. 7:59 Uh, there was a cool picture of you in the back of a cop car. Uh- No, no, excuse me, sir. That was the front of a cop car. [laughs] I was the victim. That you were, uh, what was it, pepper sprayed? 8:11 Victims get the front seat. [laughs] Yeah, uh, can you tell us a little bit about that? [laughs] Uh, you know, I got... 8:21 You know, it's just a typical robbery by some meth heads that wanted to come in and enrich their lives with some bicycle culture. [laughs] And they did, they did so with a big can of bear spray and a pistol. Wow. 8:36 And I, and I happened to be the person at the front door to greet them. Was there any interaction, or is it just bear spray and... Yeah, I just, I got fully bear sprayed, and, uh, they 8:50 basically clouded the whole place so bad that they ended up bear spraying themselves, so they turned tail, grabbed a couple bicycles and boned out. Ah. Did they get away with the bikes? 9:02 Yeah, they got away with the bikes, and, uh, maybe like three weeks later they caught one of the guys, thanks to, uh, our beautiful social media outlet that helped track down where one of them may be staying, 9:18 and the cops ended up pulling the dude over in a stolen car with stolen, a whole steal of stolen, uh, merchandise. Wow. So, yeah. Did you, did you have to take a vigorous bubble bath to get that bear spray off of you? 9:34 I, I, I didn't have anyone to scrub my back, so [laughs] I had to do it all on my own. [laughs] You're rolling around on the carpet? [laughs] Like, what, how do you do that? 9:45 It did, it did take some heavy soaking and probably at least eight hours of basically just feeling like I was melting. Ouch. Oh, that sucks. So I, I, I kind of feel sorry for some of the bears out there. 9:59 [laughs] No shit. I'll scratch your back when we get to New York. I'll bring a, I'll bring a brush. [laughs] I've had to shave Chewy before. This will be nothing. Yeah. [laughs] So what, what do you, uh... How would you 10:17 describe the course for, uh, for Singlespeed USA this year? Um, pretty singlespeedy. Um, you know, I guess I can let the cat out of the bag in the sense of, 10:31 you know, I definitely had the idea of, you know, saving my hometown by building this trail system to promote ecotourism and bring a bunch of lights and money back into the town. 10:43 But, uh, lo, lo and behold, the initial design and the topography of the land really, uh, led its way to letting me design Singlespeed Wonderland. Oh, cool. So- So-... 10:58 the conspiracy of you being a good guy is true. Yeah. [laughs] S- sorry, Fort Jervis, I was being a little secretive and had some of my own ideas intertwined with helping save the town. [laughs] That's fine. 11:14 But, uh, you know, on, on paper, pretty much a- all the trails there are built around about 100 feet of climbing per mile. Wow. 11:26 You know, that's pretty rolly with about seven mountain ranges that go up, or seven hillside/mountain ranges to up and down and around through. So it, it j- yeah, it tends to be quite singlespeedy. I like it. 11:41 I'm excited already. I'm even excited. [laughs] I'm not just snappin' that up. [laughs] And, uh, yeah. No, 11:48 i- ideally, nobody wants to know what the course is until they're actually on it riding it, which could potentially even be me. Yeah. 11:56 Not that I- I, yeah, we just wanna know how many beer stops so we can figure out how many beers we need to bring. Uh- Well, yeah, how many, how many beers are you gonna carry with you is the question, and then- Y-... 12:08 there'll, there'll be plenty of things hidden in the woods to entertain and keep peopleUh, quenched as long as, you know, they're, they're willing to drink beer and aren't just a slave to water. Right. 12:22 Um, I think last... When you won, you were bragging to everybody that everybody was gonna be able to meet your mom. Is your mom gonna be participating in the event? Yeah. 12:34 Yeah, I'm sure my mom will probably be, uh, heading up the registration table, something along those lines. All right. Come see DJ's mom- [laughs]... at Singlespeed USA. Yeah. 12:46 Uh, may- may- may- maybe dishing you out some, uh, fresh cooked pig. Mm. [laughs] I'm a little bit nervous to meet DJ's mom. I, I have a- [laughs] I don't know why. [laughs] I have a feel that this is, might be an event. 12:58 [laughs] You're, you're scared to solve the mystery, I think. [laughs] Yes. I think that's right. Um, so anybody who isn't really familiar with Singlespeed USA, there's a few different parts to it. So there is the race, 13:12 which is different from the championship, which is different from another event, which is the decider. Um, when we did Wisconsin, Gomez was actually the roller derby referee. Right. 13:28 And I had to ask you if you know what you're doing because I didn't know. [laughs] And you were doing a great job, actually. I looked it up later, I'm like, "He was exactly right." [laughs] And all those things. 13:38 DJ ran that whole thing, dude. Yeah. Yeah. I was just there as, like, a prop of- [laughs] Of... It was, seemed like roller derby professional wrestling on roller skates. Yeah. It was a great time. 13:52 Uh- We- we're all just a bunch of props. [laughs] It was a good time, but, um, yeah, so, um, obviously who finishes the race, uh, but then the... Is it always a derby? Has the belt always been a derby? 14:08 I guess the la- the only ones that I've been to, the belt has been decided by a derby, but I don't know. No, no, there, there's been, uh, different things for sure. 14:16 The, the very first one that was held in Fayetteville, Tennessee was, uh, an elimination match on a inflatable jousting rink. [laughs] I, I always thought, I always- And the last- Uh, for some reason I always-... 14:34 Assumed the first one was in Tucson, but the first one was in Tennessee? The, the first Singlespeed USA was held in Fayetteville, Tennessee two years after the first Singlespeed AZ. [laughs] Oh, okay. Okay. 14:50 So me, me and a buddy, Clay Higgins, uh, you know, probably had one too many beers and thought that we, we could somehow make Singlespeed Arizona better by making it a Singlespeed USA. 15:03 [laughs] And goddamn, now, now there's a whole bunch more alcoholics in the world. Yes. And this is the 11th incarnation, correct? Yep. This, this is the one-by-one year. Good. I tend to do better in northern climates. 15:20 [laughs] I've done the, the AZ, uh... Yeah, your last date, the Singlespeed AZ, or maybe that was, uh, Kalen that put that on, but, uh, quite hot. So this show- Yeah... 15:31 this show just became like the Singlespeed USA, uh, scrolls. Yeah. [laughs] There's a few Singlespeed fat bikes. I've, I've seen two. One is mine, and the other is Chewy's. 15:42 [laughs] I don't know who- I've seen a bunch of them. Uh, well good. JP Severed, that dude rides one all the time. But he doesn't go to Singlespeed USA. Oh. I'm talking about in- Yeah... in the, in the competition. 15:52 Oh, sorry. I went, I went global again. Yeah. [laughs] Well, I'm, I'm currently transporting a bike from a Tucson contender for SSUSA that's an old Visago Frankenbike that has 16:06 a 3.8 on the front and a 2.4 on the rear. So does that count? Yeah. Fuck yeah. That's like a white girl- [laughs]... with a boob job. [laughs] Small in the back and heavy in the front. [laughs] But, uh... 16:23 [laughs] Is there anyone that you wanna call out for being a bitch this year and not coming to Singlespeed USA [laughs] because it's their birthday? Well, I'm- I'm just wondering. [laughs] It's a, it's a super long list. 16:37 [laughs] Yeah. But, uh, yeah, I don't know, like I'm, I'm sure Dickie's still sitting on his thumb wondering if his ankle's gonna be okay. Uh-huh. 16:47 [laughs] Dirty and Shannon are still getting lost and looking for white portals. We should try to get- Yeah... Shannon there for sure, and then Dirty would have to either- Celebrate it... blow out his candles alone. 17:00 And somehow, somehow we're having two Singlespeed events, one in Kansas, one in New York at the same time. Yeah. That's still, uh- So that, that, that sucks to have two little parties instead of one big party. Yeah. 17:13 That's still hangover from the Michigan debacle, [laughs] uh, where it was between Wisconsin and Missouri. So we should, uh... 17:24 I need, if there's anybody listening from Missouri who would like to represent, we would like to send this to Kansas City next year. 17:31 [laughs] I would just call them up, like, a month before and be like, "Congratulations, bitches, [laughs] this is coming to your backyard." [laughs] Yeah. 17:40 Yeah, 'cause unfortunately as it, as it stands, we only have two people in for the, uh, 2019 decider comp. Right. I saw one was, uh, Pennsylvania again. Who's the other? I honestly forget right now. Okay. 17:56 I would assume Texas 'cause they've been battling it out forever. Texas never wins. [laughs] I, I, I actually, I didn't see Texas' hat in the ring yet. Ah. All right. So yeah, I would like to also call them out. 18:08 Come on, Texas. So that's, uh, that's the decider. That's that part of the conver- You started to explain the competitions and-And I, and now I'm confused. 18:19 Yeah, so yeah, the decider, so there is the race and there is the battle for the belt, and that is the individual champion, and then states compete to decide who's gonna host it the following year. 18:30 Um, and last year in Washington, I remember I was actually trying to sabotage DJ so he wouldn't win [laughs] and it backfired, and he totally won. [laughs] It was dark. 18:42 There was a lot of music and loud drinking and, uh, and DJ brought it home back to his hometown, so... And this is- It's, yeah, it's really hard to out-single speed single speeding. [laughs] That is true. 18:56 It's, uh, that's the... And that's the root of all the controversy is the decider round. Yeah, yeah. 'Cause I was confused when I was in the one that I was like, "Well, why are people from Wisconsin on Texas? 19:08 And why are people from Pennsylvania on..." It's like all these people were trading places, and I was like, "I don't get it, man." 19:16 It's funny you should mention that because that did just come up when I said that I need somebody from Missouri, because one person from that state must be on the team. Oh, gotcha. 19:24 So Kerry was from Texas and Copper Harbor Doug- Oh... was from PA, and that's what... As long as they were consistent through the whole thing- All right... 19:35 they get to be on the team, and you can interchange whoever you want as long as they're- I get it... upright. [laughs] I still don't quite understand how, like, the whole KC thing went down 'cause it was, 19:49 it was Brett that, that won, and it was shooting BBs at a beer can, right, on the lakefront. Well, I don't remember 'cause I passed out. Yeah, yeah. I'm, uh, somewhere east- Mm... of St. Louis. I just passed a... 20:04 I'm passing what appears to be a prison with a really good looking obstacle course outside. Ooh, nice. So we were saying what? Uh, where were we, uh- We were talking about the controversy where- Oh, yeah. 20:18 So I don't know what happened. Oh. I was... Like I said, I passed out. I, I remember when I was swimming, the beach was full of people screaming and yelling, and I chugged that bag of wine. Uh-huh. 20:29 And then I woke up with the waves of Lake Superior- [laughs]... lapping my balls, and then my dog was sitting by me looking so sad. So we rode to my camper, and then I heard we won the next morning. 20:44 [laughs] Maybe that's why we have never really gotten to the bottom of the story [laughs] or what I witnessed. That's about how I, that's about how I remember it too. Yeah. 20:53 But I do remember Brett said that he was actually not in the competition, but somebody said, "Wisconsin wins" 20:59 and whoever was the winners might've been in a heated argument with Missouri about it [laughs] and, uh, Brett, and they're like, "Who was gonna run the show for Wisconsin?" 21:09 And Brett just happened to have a card in his pocket and gave him the card, and that's how I found out [laughs] that Wisconsin was hosting. [laughs] I see. 21:17 I think- I think I kinda just, I kinda just remember a Speedo and a buck knife during that competition. [laughs] Yep. One of the guys was wearing that. 21:25 And, uh, we drank Copper Harbor out of beer, so the guys climbed up on the roof of the bar, started drinking up there, and a week later the Michigan newspaper reported a riot [laughs] that happened in Copper Harbor. 21:40 [laughs] Nice. And, uh, yeah, 'cause there is no cell phone reception up there. Nobody could post anything until they got back into civilization. Got it. Um, but yeah, I assume that will not be the case this year. 21:52 Uh, everybody will be watching our shenanigans live. [laughs] Uh, uh, I think, uh, partially. We'll be hidden in the woods for the most part. I don't... Is there anything else to expect this year that, uh, 22:07 I don't know what to expect or what not to expect that's just gonna be- Do you have any riddles for the people who are going to come? Uh, no. 22:15 I think it, you know, Single Speed USA is a riddle in itself to, to fight for the schedule or lack thereof. Mm-hmm. Um, you know, the joke is always like, "When's the race starting?" 22:29 [laughs] It's like, it's like, I don't know, who's racing is the, the good reply, I guess. Yeah. I do like, uh, how you did, um, 22:40 Worlds in Alaska, where everybody was super excited to be the Single Speed World Champion, and they were watching their diet and they were training really hard and they had their sleep on schedule, and DJ's like, "Okay, if you wanna race tomorrow, you have to pick up your, uh, cube 22:57 after the bar closes in the bar parking lot," [laughs] which threw a lot of people off. That was, uh, that w- is what made angry single speeder angry. [laughs] Yeah. 23:10 But, you know, you gotta do stuff to keep people on their toes, throw a curve ball, something like that. It's, after all, it is single speeding, right? It's not a, necessarily a bike race. It's- It's an event... 23:22 us all getting together for a large family reunion. Right. 23:26 And yeah, and I like how you did, how you, how you do things like that to keep it fun so people that take things too serious will just avoid it, [laughs] you know? 23:34 And the people who like to party- Yeah, or, or actually learn... or, or ideally learn actually how to have some fun. Mm-hmm. Changing minds, changing lives. 23:42 Like what, what are we up to, the m- the m- the median age of the people coming to this nowadays are what? Like 35 years old. That's 'cause Chewy's like 60. He pulls it up. [laughs] Yeah. 23:54 That's for Chewy to be coming up. Well, now Chewy doesn't ever have any fun. [laughs] Yeah. DJ Burch, Professor of Fun. And Two Wheels. Esquire. I do like your logo. Who came up with that? Uh, which one? 24:07 The mad hatter or we're all mad here, the- Oh. Oh, yeah, yeah, the mad hatter, that's, uh, the, the famous David Butler. Oh, is it? Okay, cool. 24:17 The, uh, you know, lead singer of-Dirty mugs and The Black Owl, several other bands, all that other good stuff that he does. Mm-hmm. I don't know if he rides a bike, but he's a good-looking dude. 24:31 [laughs] Yeah, he, he occasionally rides a bike until he falls down. Yeah? [laughs] That's fine, as long as he rides. 24:37 We'll, uh, we'll have, uh, we'll, we'll have a copy of that logo and a link to your event and maybe a sample of your brain tissue in the show notes on the- Very well. Very well... 24:49 on the thing by the, uh, by the interwebs thing. I apprec- I appreciate that and for spreading the love. Oh, yeah, man. All the time. Full time. Six to nine. [laughs] So if anybody is in the, uh, 25:06 is that what you call, Atlantic Northeast? I've heard Pacific [laughs] Northwest. Is this the Atlantic Northeast? Does anybody refer to- I, they do call it the Northeast, but I think that 25:16 where you describe is, like, in the, the Tri-State Area, I think they call it. I don't know. You're from there. Very much the Tri-State. If anything, the very, very southern reaches of the, uh, east, northeast. Yeah. 25:31 I would like to see some more states get into the Decider. I would like... Why the hell hasn't nobody from North Carolina, uh, or has, has Single Speed made it to North Carolina? No. Dickie. Hello, Dickie. 25:43 Dickie, you listening? There you go. Dickie, come on. Anybody in Arkansas? Anybody in- Oh, Arkansas. Oh. Those new trails in Arkansas. Yeah. Have you seen any of that, DJ? Uh, nobody from Arkansas that I see. 26:00 Have you seen any of the pictures of those trails, though? Uh, nothing of the new stuff, but I've ridden some of the older stuff there, like, uh, some of the end of trails and whatnot. Okay. All right. 26:13 Well, you'll look, look forward to that someday. [laughs] Or something. Maybe. I'm thinking, like, who else would we- Maybe on my way back... who we'd like to see. 26:22 Uh, I could probably technically compete for Iowa, but, uh- You have dual statesmanship. I have dual statesmanship, yeah. You could be in the Congress of either state. I'm pretty sure Iowa's never won Single Speed USA. 26:36 But, uh, [laughs] trying to think who else- No... that we would like, uh, Maine, Vermont. Oh, Vermont was a few years ago. I heard that was great. Um. Yep, Vermont was pretty slam, and that might have been, 26:48 that might have been the most attended Single Speed USA. I think there was probably 350 riders at that one. No shit. Cool. Okay. All right, DJ. You- What, what?... have been a awesome guest. Oh, please. 27:06 [laughs] Yeah. Thanks for ta- uh, I hope the rest of your drive goes well. Uh, how many more days? So you're just past St. Louis. 27:15 A very nice thunderstorm going through Oklahoma, so that kept me, uh, on edge there for a little bit, but all good. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. [upbeat music] You're tuned to the Black Ribbon Radio Hour. 27:34 [rock music] You've been listening to the Black Ribbon Bike Hour, a production of Fat Bike Radio broadcast on Pirate Cycling Network. 28:04 Check us out at fat-bike.com or i-tunes.com. Oh, wait, no, it's just itunes.com. [laughs] Boom. Boom. Boom. Hey. 28:21 [singing]
