Pelebong Pedal Assist All-Terrain Exercise System (PATES)

News Release – April 1, 2020 – Rensselaer, Indiana

Pelebong Bikes is proud to announce the first Pedal Assist All-Terrain Exercise System that combines cycling, legal marijuana, and video entertainment!- Now you can hit the trails and the bong harder than you’ve ever done before. All while staring at your strava, streaming humorous cat videos or video chatting with fellow Pelabong subscribers. You can even take selfies and post directly to your favorite social network. You can also sign up for on-demand cycle classes that can teach you all about Gravel! – or Bikepacking! – or how to get really, really baked! Our certified crustifarian instructors will get you to new levels of – inspired beta wave chilaxation while you’re out enjoying the fresh air with built-in 5G connectivity!

Pelabongis adjustable to fit humans from six foot five to four foot eleven, plus you’ll be so High, bike-fit will be that last thing on your mind as you float down the bike path watching enduroAF bike videos. This is the wave of the future kids! Nobody needs to get extreme to feel like they’re getting extreme! And there’s no reason to ever take one of your eyes off of your (precious) smartphone or miss any tiny red circles that indicate something likes something. You’ll be dialed into getting likes with the New Pelagong Pedal Assist All-Terrain Exercise System (PATES).

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4 Responses to Pelebong Pedal Assist All-Terrain Exercise System (PATES)

  1. Erv Spanks April 1, 2020 at 7:06 am #

    SO MANY HAND POSITIONS!!!!! Buy seriously, can it fit the new Jonny275x5?

  2. Allroy April 1, 2020 at 7:31 am #

    What about us craft beer bikers? No Growler holder?????

  3. JP April 1, 2020 at 7:38 am #

    I hope this fits on my rollers!

    • Erv Spanks April 1, 2020 at 3:02 pm #

      Time for a set of custom Vibranium rollers Bro!

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